


Love in grief

by Leiya



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, SET AFTER S7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 17:30:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15954125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leiya/pseuds/Leiya
Summary: Shiro visits Adam's grave to tell him the things left unsaid and blames himself for Adam's death until Keith comes along and convinces him otherwise.





	Love in grief

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic in this fandom. Hope you like it!

The man stared at the tombstone in front of him. The name engraved on it was familiar, too familiar. He sighed deeply and gently put his hand on the cool stone which looked just like every other on this graveyard: A simple remembrance of everyone in this area who fell during the Galra attacks on earth. This wasn’t right! This person shouldn’t have died.

“I’m sorry, Adam… I really am. I never wanted this to happen… I wanted to sort everything out with you as soon as I returned home…” He really had wanted to do so. Yes, it had been Adam who had broken up with him because of his definite decision to go on the Kerberos mission despite the risks for him and his health.  
And Takashi Shirogane had come to terms with it and moved on from this relationship. He had had enough time to think and came to the conclusion that they were too different to work out as a couple, nevertheless he had really wanted to talk thinks out, draw a clear line and tell Adam all that had been left unsaid. But now he couldn’t anymore. Adam had died quite a while ago defending this planet.

“I wanted us to be friends again, you know… I… I always thought of you. Now I will never see you again… And it’s my fault! If I hadn’t gone to Kerberos many things wouldn’t have happened. Perhaps the Galra wouldn’t have come to earth and you wouldn’t have died… I am so sorry.  
I know you didn’t want me to go because you were worried about me. I know you left because you couldn’t bear the thought of waiting at home in the fear of losing me… I can’t even blame you… from your point of view I have been really stupid to go. We all did what we considered the right thing. But… I don’t know if my choice was the right one. I am sorry.” 

He fell silent. He thought back at their last interaction… The day Adam hat tried to convince him to stay for the last time and then left. He hadn’t been there when he had departed from earth. And Shiro didn’t even have time to properly grieve the lost relationship. They had met the Galra and were captured. He had saved Matt’s life and fought in the Arena until he managed to escape. The reunion with Keith, Voltron, the whole Galra Empire… So much had happened. It was only during their return journey to earth that he could properly work things out in his head. Ha had many deep talks in the Black Lion with Keith about Adam and his feelings and his urgent wish to build a new friendship with him. 

“Your choice was the right one.” 

He spun around only to find Keith standing behind him. His head was still bandaged but he was released from hospital just this morning. It was getting late now and the sun was about to set.

“Keith…”

The younger man knelt down next to him and put down a small bouquet of flowers next to Shiro’s own.

“I knew I would find you here. Look… if Kerberos didn’t happen, the Galra would have conquered Earth much earlier. They only let it in peace because we found Blue before them and were too busy chasing us to proceed conquering the universe. They had already reached our solar system. They wouldn’t have stopped just because they captured a few earthlings on the farthest end of a tiny solar system. And then Earth would have been far from ready to fight them… This planet only survived because everything happened exactly the way it happened. We needed the time to get used to the Lions, to Voltron to the life as Defenders of the Universe and to establish the coalition. We had to get rid of Zarkon because with him around we would have found a dead earth. We had to find Matt to fight in the coalition and Sam to return to earth to establish a stronghold here because we were delayed by Lotor. Shiro…” Keith put a hand on Shiro’s shoulder. “I don’t know if I can help you get rid of your self-reproach… but everything had to happen the way it did. I… did a bit of research in hospital. Adam died protecting the Garrison. Without him the Galra would have found the only weakness it had at that time. Without him we also would have found a dead planet upon our return. He had to die so that many people could survive.”

Shiro looked up. “I didn’t know.”

“That’s why I tell you. I… met the commander of the mission he died in at hospital. Adam was convinced we would return in time and he would have done everything to give us all the time we needed to be here in time… that YOU would be here in time to save the day. He died because he believed in you.”

Shiro took a deep breath and felt tears burning in his eyes. Adam… Now he wanted to talk to him even more. But it was impossible. So he just whispered towards the stone: “Thank you.” For protecting the garrison and Earth. For Believing in him. For their time together. For everything.

He leaned to the side where Keith was now sitting and felt how his best friend put an arm around his shoulders. Here he could allow himself to show weakness. Keith would never judge him. 

They stayed like this for a while Keith could feel the tears silently running over Shiro’s face and turn his shoulder damp. Finally he could really grieve his once most important person.

Only a small stripe of greenish-blue light brightened the western horizon when Shiro’s tears dried and he moved a bit just to embrace Keith. “And thank you for being here right now. It... sure isn’t easy for you to see me crying about another man…”

“What do you mean? I’m here to help you. You needed to hear this. You’re human after al and allowed to have feelings…”

“That’s not what I meant.” Shiro rebutted and distanced himself a bit from Keith to sit up straight again. He didn’t know if this was an appropriate topic for this place but he had the feeling they should discuss it soon.

“Then what do you mean?” Keith asked curiously.

Shiro considered his words a few minutes. He could still brush it off. Save it for another time but somehow… Perhaps this also belonged to the things Adam should know. So he said: “Do you really think I didn’t notice? … Your feelings for me I mean.”

Keith froze unable to say anything but the question was clear in his pose.

“I know you long enough. It is quite obvious… Not only because you have always been jealous of Adam.” Shiro said and took Keith’s hand cramped on his thighs.

“You… don’t mind?”

Shiro almost laughed. “It’s an honour to be loved by you. You’re an amazing person. I knew that the moment I first met you. Although back then you acted just like a kicked out puppy who wanted to be loved. But you have grown so very much…”

In the light of his new prosthesis Shiro noticed a pained expression running over Keith’s features. “Stop it… Please… If you already know then…”

But he couldn’t finish the sentence because Shiro pulled him close into his arms. “Keith… I love you, too. I knew Adam and I would never have a comeback. I know the war isn’t over and there’s still a chance of us dying… but… I want to spend the time we have left with you at my side.” His voice was quiet. He has come to terms with his feelings quite a time ago after he had noticed that his own feelings for Adam had ceased.

It took a while but then Keith looked up. “Are… you serious?”

Shiro leaned his forehead against Keith’s. “I am… God, Keith… you are my best friend and the one person I never want to lose again! I want to be close to you.”

A tiny smile appeared on Keith’s face. “You won’t. I’ll stay at your side. No matter where in universe we are.” 

Shiro returned the smile and leaned in to gently kiss Keith. It felt so good and so right although it was just an innocent kiss, testing the waters of turning their deep friendship into love.

“But… Keith…” Shiro said when they separated again. Just a tiny bit. He could steel feel Keith’s breath on his cheeks. “I… want to take things slow… I..”

“I know. I waited long enough for you. I can still wait a little longer until you are ready for everything. Your soul is wounded and aching. I want more than just your hot body.” Keith smiled and kissed Shiro again. This time more fiercely but far from trying more. Not now and certainly not here.

Then Keith looked at the tombstone. “Adam… I will take good care of him. Please allow me to heal his invisible wounds.” He bowed his head and a light warm breeze touched both of them almost as if Adam’s soul wanted to give them his blessing.

Shiro smiled but then got up. “Shall we go?” he asked.  
Keith also stood up and took his now boyfriend’s warm human hand. “Yeah. Let’s go home.”

They felt warm inside when they returned to the garrison. They would have to work out a new strategy how to finally completely disband the Galra empire after all. Their feelings for each other couldn’t endanger their mission, they would have to take care that it wouldn’t become a weakness. But Shiro was sure that they would be able to manage it. They were both strong and knew each other well. Their love would be their biggest strength no matter where in the universe they would be.


End file.
